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Chuck Norris java jokes

got these from www dot ovisual dot com/4/



Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.

Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.

Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard… Continue

Added by Nemanja Nesic - NEM- on May 20, 2009 at 11:26am — No Comments

JSR Watch: Here’s to Progress

Here's an update from the Chair of the JCP and director of the JCP Program office: Patrick Curran



http://java.ulitzer.com/node/965152





JSR Watch: Here’s to Progress



And here’s to the next 10 years!

By Patrick Curran



May 15, 2009 03:00 PM EDT

Reads: 560



The end of the year is an opportunity to review the past year's activity, and to present this to our Executive Committee (EC)… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on May 19, 2009 at 8:30pm — No Comments

All About Scala



Thanks to Carol for pointing this… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on May 15, 2009 at 10:30am — No Comments

On breadth vs. depth of technical knowledge...

What language should you learn? How about operating systems? Wondering what framework to add to your bag of tricks? Check out Jeff Thalhammer's blog to read one man's view. What do you think?

Added by Michael Levin on May 14, 2009 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Grooveshark Internship

Grooveshark is arguably the coolest place to work in the Swamp.

Added by Michael Levin on May 8, 2009 at 12:00pm — No Comments

The Instructables



I was talking with my friend Daniel at the McRorie Community Garden in Gainesville yesterday. He said that gardening sensors were all the rage. Pointed to the… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on May 8, 2009 at 9:30am — No Comments

Atlassian Jira and Confluence for cheap...

Atlassian is offering discounted licenses for Confluence and Jira. I like Atlassian a lot. They are creative, have good hearts and appreciate my kind of work ethic: lifestyle entrepreneurship. Sam Shirah just posted this in the JaxJUG mailing list:

If anyone is interested in JIRA or Confluence, Atlassian currently has a

5$ for 5 users deal. Versions are JIRA 3.13.3 and Confluence 2.10.3. I'm

sending… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on April 20, 2009 at 1:26pm — 1 Comment

Oracle buys Sun

Here is my take on the news about Oracle buying Sun. In some cases, company acquisitions simply kill competing business. So, Oracle's acquisition of Sun could do that, but I think Sun's products compliment Oracle's. Oracle does not have an operating system. PL/SQL is the closest thing Oracle has to a language. And, Oracle does not manufacture hardware. So, I think the Oracle acquisition of Sun will help advance Sun's product… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on April 20, 2009 at 11:00am — 1 Comment

screencast about MySQL for Developers

Here is a screencast about MySQL for Developers



If you are a developer using MySQL, you should learn enough to take advantage of its strengths, because having an understanding of the database can help you develop better-performing applications. This session will talk about MySQL database design and SQL tuning for developers. Some topics include:



* MySQL Storage Engine Architecture

* Schema, the basic foundation of performance

* Think about performance when… Continue

Added by Carol McDonald on March 30, 2009 at 10:30am — No Comments

Mashup Patterns

Mashups are a fascinating and useful way to explore the "deep web". A mashup pulls in data from other websites to create a view of data greater than the sum of the parts. An article just came out today in InformIT called Mining the Deep Web with Mashups that explores mashups from a current perspective. The author, Michael Ogrinz, has just published a book:… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on March 29, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

My sensor project is ProSense

Hello, my fellow villagers!



Did you know there is a project called ProSense?

It's funded by European Commission's Seventh Framework Programme (FP7),

and it's aim is to raise the level of research potential of researchers from WBC

(Western Balkan Countries), particularly ones from FYRO Macedonia and Serbia

with help from the EU academic institutions and… Continue

Added by Marko Stanković on March 27, 2009 at 1:19pm — 1 Comment

Job Seekers Targeted By Identity Thieves

Job Seekers Targeted By Identity Thieves



Fake job ads are up 345% over the past three years, according to one U.K. financial security association.



By Thomas Claburn

InformationWeek

March 5, 2009 10:00 AM



Job seekers beware. Identity thieves are looking to steal personal information from those searching for employment.



Fake job ads are up 345% over the past three years, according to the U.K. Association for Payment Clearing Services,… Continue

Added by Michael Geddie on March 26, 2009 at 9:00am — No Comments

Disable unnecessary services

I am working on a list of services for my article about disabling unnecessary services. So far I have the following services:



Computer Browser

Error Reporting Service

Help and Support

Indexing Service

Messenger

NetMeeting Remote Desktop Sharing

Performance Logs and Alerts

Protected storage (this service stores passwords and enables auto-complete for web forms)

Remote… Continue

Added by Tim Stevesi on March 25, 2009 at 10:11am — No Comments

Laconica - a micro-blogging tool



What is laconica? It's an open source micro blogging platform. Here's an example of it in action: Smallpicture. My account is here.

Do we need another Twitter? No but, It's definitely useful to have the ability to implement micro blogging elsewhere. For…

Continue

Added by Michael Levin on March 24, 2009 at 1:00pm — No Comments

What's bit.ly?

On the surface, bit.ly appears to be a tinyurl.com clone. But, bit.ly has a powerful API so you can use it in your websites. It also has semantic capability and uses Amazon S3 to store your data. It's GeoSpatially enabled, which raises all sorts of possibilities. Think iPhone apps - especially with iPhone 3G's GPS capability. Here's a good… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on March 22, 2009 at 12:00pm — No Comments

New website tips

Hello,

I recently created one of my first websites on my own that is about free slow computer tips. I have coded a few functions up in asp. If anyone wants to check it out and provide any suggestions or found bugs I would appreciate it. Also, if you have any good tips you think really need to be added, those are welcome too. However, I will be trying to add those as I go along.

Thanks for any help!

Added by Tim Stevesi on March 12, 2009 at 1:30pm — No Comments

AJUG on Stimulus Package

So your get rich from the stock market scheme has faltered, your attempt at being a real estate tycoon has ended on a sour note and even Microsoft has announced its first ever company layoffs!



While these are scary times, the Atlanta Java job market continues to be healthy and the demand for talent remains strong. Atlanta-based companies want people who can deliver projects, on time, under budget and exceeding the needs of end-users. They are looking for software professionals who… Continue

Added by Michael Levin on February 23, 2009 at 2:30pm — 1 Comment

OJUG presents Clojure with Larry Diehl Thursday 2/26



(image from http://twitter.com/JavaUsers") Greetings Orlando JUG:

Thursday is the Feb OJUG meeting. We'll be sponsored by Paul Peters of Signature Consultants, so bring your CV's if you're looking for work or req'ts if your looking for developers. Doors open at 6. It's

imperative that you RSVP here.

if you intend to come. The room only seats 20 and last…

Continue

Added by Michael Levin on February 23, 2009 at 11:30am — No Comments

Python

Rick Copeland of PyAtl just announced the videos from the recent meeting are online. Python is a sleeper. If you read and watch carefully, you'll see what I am talking about. Work smarter!

Added by Michael Levin on January 11, 2009 at 8:59am — 1 Comment

Cool Java

Recently, DevOxx occurred and folks voted on cool Java things.

(photo from Ray)
There's a lot to talk about here. Go for it!

Added by Michael Levin on December 14, 2008 at 5:30am — No Comments

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Welcome to Codetown!

Codetown is a social network. It's got blogs, forums, groups, personal pages and more! You might think of Codetown as a funky camper van with lots of compartments for your stuff and a great multimedia system, too! Best of all, Codetown has room for all of your friends.

When you create a profile for yourself you get a personal page automatically. That's where you can be creative and do your own thing. People who want to get to know you will click on your name or picture and…
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Researchers Attempt to Uncover the Origins of Creativity in Diffusion Models

In a recent paper, Stanford researchers Mason Kamb and Surya Ganguli proposed a mechanism that could underlie the creativity of diffusion models. The mathematical model they developed suggests that this creativity is a deterministic consequence of how those models use the denoising process to generate images.

By Sergio De Simone

Atlassian's 4 Million PostgreSQL Database Migration: When Standard Cloud Strategies Fail

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By Renato Losio

LM Studio 0.3.17 Adds Model Context Protocol (MCP) Support for Tool-Integrated LLMs

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By Robert Krzaczyński

Grafana Tempo 2.8 Released: Major TraceQL Enhancements and Memory Optimizations

Grafana released Tempo 2.8 on June 12, 2025, introducing substantial memory optimizations and expanded functionality in its trace query language, TraceQL. This update is part of an ongoing effort to make distributed tracing more performant and accessible within observability stacks.

By Craig Risi

Gemma 3n Introduces Novel Techniques for Enhanced Mobile AI Inference

Launched in early preview last May, Gemma 3n is now officially available. It targets mobile-first, on-device AI applications, using new techniques designed to increase efficiency and improve performance, such as per-layer embeddings and transformer nesting.

By Sergio De Simone

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